Whatever Happened to Common Courtesy?

For the third time in less than two weeks, I've had to ask the same neighbor to PLEASE turn their music down, more specifically, the bass. One would think after two requests these neighbors would figure out what an acceptable volume is for their music. Nope. They really just don't care. I don't understand people anymore. Many feel they have the right to do whatever they want no matter how it affects those around them.

When I worked in Kansas City, I would often find myself sitting next to a car with the bass pounding so hard and so loud that my insides were vibrating! I know there are noise ordinances and under the law most sound systems are illegal, yet they are easily found in any store and rarely do police stop those whose music is way above the legal decibels or they are powerless to do so. People drive through neighborhoods with booming bass that can be heard blocks away yet we have no recourse for this insensitivity and ignorance. All these people think about is status and being cooler than everyone else. Consideration for others does not fit into the equation.

Not only is loud music a problem, but the use of foul language in public. I'll be the first to admit I can curse like a sailor, but I am always aware of my surroundings and try very hard not to subject others to my potty mouth. I've seen both adults and teens, even grade school aged kids just curse up a storm, anyplace, anytime. They curse around young children and elderly people. They could care less who hears them. They have no respect for others and will have no trouble telling anyone off who calls them on it. It's funny though, when you really listen to what they're saying. Oftentimes they interject the "F" word every other time and if you were to remove it from their litany you'd find they really have nothing intelligent to say. It's all just smoke screens.

Another serious pet peeve of mine is spitting on sidewalks and in parking lots. Most of the culprits are men and teens who think it's perfectly fine to spit where others walk. When I was an armed security officer posted at a nearby college campus, I stood outside with the students as they mingled between classes. I couldn't count the number of times people spit on the sidewalk. It was disgusting. These guys thought nothing of it and spit all around the entrance to the building. It was out of my control to do anything about it as the college really didn't care. There were trash barrels close-by, even grassy areas (though I don't appreciate spitting on the grass, either), yet these guys routinely spit on the sidewalk and the parking lot.

Then there are those who think it's okay to let their dogs run freely through the neighborhood because they're either too lazy to take the dog for a walk or don't want to tie them out for awhile. Nothing is more irritating than finding your trash strewn about the yard because a dog's decided to see what's on the menu. In some cases, these dogs are dangerous to other dogs, cats, and people. They can be very territorial and aggressive. If more than one dog is let loose to run, and one is very aggressive, it can draw other dogs in to their aggression, as well. They develop a pack mentality. Even the very best dogs with the very best temperament can turn under the right circumstances. Another thing these idiots don't consider is the safety of their own dog when they let it run. These dogs can get hit by cars are become victim to cruelty by others who think it'll be fun to throw rocks or other heavy objects at them. They may take the dog and do even more unspeakable things to it.

My dogs have escaped my house on more than one occasion for various reasons, but I was quick to get out the door and round them up. One of my dogs is quite aggressive and I would in no way allow him to run and wait til he decided to come home. Regardless, my dogs' safety and the safety of my neighbors is number one, so there's no time to waste in getting them back safely at home.

Something has got to change. Attitudes have got to change. This is not a "me, me, me" world. It has to be a "we, we, we" world where we all think about our actions and how they affect those around us. We are not entitled to all the things we may want. There are limits in order to make ours a civilized society. We've gotten to a point where people think they should be allowed to drive vehicles that get 8 miles to the gallon and have dark tinted windows, where they think they can say what they want when they want, and where the rest of us are expected to put up with their inconsiderate actions. I live by the saying "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." Of course, some would say "The neighbor's music doesn't bother me, so what's the big deal?" Well, that's fine for those folks, but consider the rest of us.

Some of us would just like to be in our homes, our little sanctuary from the rest of the world, without having to be subjected to noise, loose dogs, or other issues that end up on our doorsteps. Some of us would like to get from point A to point B in our cars without having to be bombarded by loud, pounding music or insane driving practices. Some of us would like to be able to walk through parking lots or on sidewalks without stepping on someone's spit or discarded gum. It is not too much to ask and it's not too much to expect.

I've always had this saying "The more intelligent the species, the dummer it gets." Human beings are capable of intelligent thought, of solving complex problems and advancing technology beyond our wildest dreams. Yet, somehow, we can't solve the most basic of issues.

Courtesy. That's all I'm asking for, simple courtesy.

It's Time to Put the Monsters Away for Good

I wrote previously on what I think of sexual predators and what should be done with them. With the latest news about Jaycee Dugard, I'm just perplexed about how this monster, Phillip Garrido, could fly under the radar for the past 18 years and get away with such atrocities. Let's not forget the culpability of his wife, Nancy, as well. This whole story just punctuates what I've believed all along. Sexual predators cannot be rehabilitated and should never, ever see freedom once they are convicted of their first sexual crime. The system failed Jaycee Dugard and perhaps other victims we don't know about. Authorities are investigating two other young missing girls and the murders of several prostitutes in the vicinity of Garrido's home and work. If it turns out he is connected to any of these other cases, then Garrido really had it good.

Phillip Garrido was convicted for a 1976 kidnapping and rape of a 25 year old woman and sentenced to 50 years in prison. He was released after only 11 years of incarceration. He was considered a high-risk offender so was on lifetime parole and had to wear an ankle monitor. I realize the justice and mental health system has learned a lot since Garrido's conviction, but even then it should have been obvious that this man should stay behind bars for the full 50 years.

This is my question: Why do we even BOTHER with the monitoring and multiple visits with a parole officer as Garrido was required to do every month? Why? Why? Why? If someone is that dangerous to require that much attention and monitoring then DON'T LET HIM OUT!! Things may have changed since then, laws have gotten stiffer, but we are still facing very similar situations with our justice system today. Sexual offenders, most specifically, sexual predators, are getting light sentences or are being released early. It's time we stand up and say we're not going to allow this anymore.

A sexual predator cannot be "cured." The urges will always be there. To say a sexual predator is cured is as ludicrous as saying a man is cured of being a man. I am so tired of hearing about the rights of the offenders versus the rights of the victims. I will go so far as to say that certain sexual crimes, especially those against children, should be eligible for the death penalty. To put a child through the trauma of rape and other deviant sexual abuse, especially over months or years, is the most heinous crime anyone can do to another human being. I would not have a problem with seeing these monsters put on death row. It'll never happen, of course, because our country only allows the death penalty for first degree murder with extenuating circumstances.

Since it is not likely we'll ever have the death penalty for sexual predators, then we can do the next best thing. We need to lock them up and throw away the key. People who act upon their deviant thoughts and fantasies by sexually abusing a child have just relinquished their rights to live outside prison walls for the rest of their lives. I don't care if they had a terrible, abusive childhood, they're mentally ill, or have a personality disorder. In many cases, this may be a factor, but it does not change the fact that they are a danger for the rest of their lives. I'm not going to rely on some "great" medications or therapy to keep these predators compliant. We all know how well people stay on their medication and how well they can fool therapists. We also know how well these people can disappear if they want to.

We need to send a very strong message that has no gray area. The very first time you molest a child, you're gone. The first time you kidnap and rape an adult, you're gone. Remember, the kidnapping and rape conviction Phillip Garrido had been convicted of was against a 25 year old woman. That's it, do not pass go, do not collect two hundred dollars. I believe if you kidnap a child or adult for the purpose of sexually assaulting them, or if you sexually assault a child over a period of time, those factors should allow the death penalty to be put on the table. Sexual abuse of a child cannot and should not be forgiven. Yes, sexual predators who prey on woman, even men, are monsters, too, and should be put away for good, as well. However, child sexual predators are the worst of the worst of society. They do not ever deserve a second chance. Ever. Period.

Phillip Garrido should not only lose his freedom forever, as I'm sure he will, he should lose his life. His wife, Nancy, will probably claim something similar to Stockholm syndrome, which I'm certain Jaycee Dugard suffers from, but I hope the justice system doesn't let her go down that road. She willingly participated in the atrocities against Jaycee, from the kidnapping to the sexual abuse. She, too, should be sentenced to life without any chance of parole. I get really tired of these women who get lighter sentences when they go along with their spouse's or boyfriend's criminal actions. We need to send a message to these women who fall on that "poor me" I'm a battered woman defense. Enough already. They need to be held accountable to a much higher degree than they usually are.

Sexual predators, especially those who prey on children, affect us all in some way. As I stated in my last blog post about sexual predators, I had a hand in putting two back in prison and I'd do it again. They tried befriending my then fourteen year old daughter and were hanging around other kids everyday. It was only a matter of time before they would offend again. One was a 32 year old male, the other a 19 year old female.

Sexual predators can't be identified from just looking at them. Some are teachers, coaches, church members, and next-door neighbors. Some are young and some look like our grandfathers. We can't be paranoid, but we can be vigilant. If your child says Mr. Smith down the road is so nice and invited him in his home, put the brakes on it right away and do some research. Be proactive. If Mr. Smith is a convicted sex offender, you can find out online. If he's not, don't take any chances. Teach your children to fight like hell and make as much noise as possible if someone attempts to abduct them. Keep in mind that most child sex offenders are actually closer than you think. They may be a member of your own family. Open a dialogue with your children, let them know that if ever anyone frightens them or touches them inappropriately, they can come to you whether it's a stranger, friend, or family member. Let them know that if they can get away they should get out of there as soon as possible and get help. They need to know BEFORE it happens that you are there for them no matter who it may be and that they have the right to get away from the offender.

It is time we stop sexual predators in their tracks. They deserve to rot in jail at the very least. Once a sexual predator, always a sexual predator. They may be able to keep themselves in check for years, but if opportunity presents itself, it will be almost impossible for them to just walk away. So what if a few never offend again. They had a choice the first time and decided to satisfy their needs at the expense of another person. When that person is a child, the offense is even worse than words could convey. One child is too many. For any sexual predators, one chance is too many. Let's stop crossing our fingers hoping the one who was just released from prison doesn't offend again. We shouldn't have to worry and wonder. Keep them out of society once and for all, whatever it takes.

Writers Beware!!

Lately I've been responding to ads on craigslist.com for writing positions. Some of these positions are for article writing, blogs, and reviews for products. One thing I've learned very quickly is that most of these ads are scams. In a short time I feel I've become somewhat of an expert on this issue. It has been a frustrating search to find a legitimate company to write for. I'd say for every fifty ads out there, maybe one is genuine. Below I've listed some of the ways these scammers try to pull you in so they can take more of your hard-earned money or your personal information.

1. You respond to an ad that looks and sounds great. You receive an email back saying all the positions have been filled, but if you really want a writing job, check out this link. This is what I call the "Bait and Switch". Here is a sample of an ad I responded to and the subsequent email I received once I inquired about the position:

"we need some experienced writers to pen some articles, blogs, stories , and novels each week . this is a stay at home job so no commuting needed. stories can be fiction or non fiction . we pay up to $125.00 per story . depending on experience the average hourly rate is between $25-$45 per hour . ********@gmail.com"

That was the ad, here is their response to my email inquiry:

"Hi there,

We filled all the positions shortly after posting the ad. If you are a well qualified writer and would like to make either extra money or even start a writing business then here is a link that might be able to help. Please do not share the link with anyone as I've lost a few writers to this website but since I have no more positions available it's the least I can do.

Good Luck!"

Included in this email was a link to a website. This website claims that if you pay $39.99 a month (or a similar fee) you will have companies clamoring at your feet to work for them. DON'T FALL FOR THIS!

This is the bait and switch. They post an ad for writers wanted and everything sounds above board. Shortly after responding to their ad they will inform you that all the positions have been filled and direct you to a sight where YOU have to pay THEM for leads.

2. This example of a scam requires that you purchase a "kit" at a very nominal fee to get started. Below is an ad I responded to on craigslist and the subsequent email:

"We are seeking for article writer who is self motivated and can do the task on given time, no real previous experience needed in this field only good
writing skills is a must! This is part time job of about ~5hours/day with salary of 3k/month.
If interested send in your resume via email and a phone number where you can be reached at."

First of all, the terrible grammar should have been a dead give away, but I did respond and received a lengthy email response once I inquired about this position which says:

"Hello,

I received your application and would like to speak with you further regarding this position. While I don’t think you have the exact internet marketing experience that we usually require, you have a good set of skills that we think would be beneficial. Because of this, I have decided to go ahead and approve your application.

Just to give you a brief overview of this position, we are a marketing company that uses Google’s advertising platform. So, your job will be to post links on Google’s site. No one needs to buy anything from you, our company, or Google. You’re not selling anything. You just post the website links we provide and get paid based on how many you do.

We provide you with access to the links and directions on how to post them properly (don’t worry, this is all explained in much greater detail in our training materials). Checks are mailed bi-weekly, with direct deposit available for those earning more than $1,000 per week.

As part of the protocols of our growing company, we have deployed measures to limit our liabilities in training new employees. As such, there is a small fee ($2.29) to cover the cost of manufacturing the work materials and shipping them to you. This kit allows us to keep track of how much time you spend working weekly. We do have a minimum commitment of 20 hrs a week from home.

If this position sounds like something you’d be interested in, you can request your training materials at our website:

(this is where the link was posted)

Please let me know once you’ve received the training packet so we can setup a conference call. I’d like to walk you through our program step-by-step and answer any questions you may have. Once again, we’re only looking for 10 new employees to help us scale our business. If you’re reading this, you were chosen by our hiring staff. If we do not hear from you, we will have to move down the list of qualified individuals.

I hope you have a great day, and I look forward to working with you."

(Here is where the contact information was listed).

This is a ruse to get you to give them your personal information so that they can bill you the small fee and then continue to bill you as much as $70-$80 a month after that for whatever they deem you are required to pay for. The small fee seems insignificant, just pocket change, but believe me, you'll be paying much more than pocket change over the next several months while you fight to get your money back.

With this particular ad, I did not respond to the first email and very shortly thereafter received ANOTHER email with the familiar "All the positions have been filled" theme. All this happened in the course of a couple of hours. They sure can fill those positions quickly! The second email used the "bait and switch" method by informing me the positions were all filled but here's something you might be interested in. They tried to hit me both ways.

3. If the ad contains several grammatical errors, disregard it! Some of the ads I've read or the responding emails I've received contained so many grammatical errors it just made me cringe. If this is a truly genuine and successful company who is looking for great writers, they are going to correspond in a professional manner and with perfect grammar. They would expect no less of the writers they are looking for.

4. This one is quite unusual and I could kick myself for falling for this one. I responded to an ad for article writers, an at-home position. The email they sent me said they were reviewing my application and in the meantime they wanted to evaluate my typing skills and speed. A link was provided where I could download a typing test which would help them evaluate whether I was qualified for the job. I thought why would that matter if I'm writing articles from home? I threw caution to the wind and downloaded the program. Thankfully, my Norton spyware stopped some kind of attack on my computer as I tried to download the program. The lesson here is: Do NOT download anything to your computer as a requirement for a job. This is just a ploy to steal your personal information. No reputable company is going to expect you to download an unfamiliar program to your computer. Don't fall for it as I did.

If you're a writer looking online for a great position please be very wary of every ad you read and respond to. There are many unscrupulous types out there just waiting for an opportunity to take your money and/or personal information and run. I'm still looking, still answering ads as I believe eventually I'll find an established, genuine company who is looking for someone like me to work for them. If you happen to be a part of such a company and are reading this post, PLEASE contact me! I'm still looking! I will, however, be checking YOU out, too!

Your Children and Their Safety in Vehicles Starts With You

If you are in the habit of leaving your young children alone in a vehicle while you "run inside quickly" to pay for gas or to grab a few things that "won't take a minute", then you are putting your children in grave danger. In my opinion, it's criminal and should be dealt with harshly.

A few years ago in Independence, Missouri, only a few miles from where I live, a horrific tragedy played out that I will never forget. I have copied the story from CBS News online because I want everyone to read this story in it's entirety. If this doesn't open some eyes, I don't know what will:

"(CBS) A six-year-old child was dragged for about four miles when his mother's car was carjacked Tuesday, reports CBS affiliate KCTV.

Motorists watched in horror as the stolen vehicle sped down a highway, dragging to death the little boy who was entangled in a seat belt outside one of the doors.

Six-year-old Jake D. Robel of Blue Springs died Tuesday before the driver of the Chevrolet Blazer could be stopped by pursuing motorists. Witnesses said the chase reached speeds of 80 mph.

"Witnesses stated that they heard the juvenile victim screaming for his mother to help him," Detective Michael Skaggs said in a statement Wednesday.

"He came flying around us and we saw the kid hanging out the side of the car bouncing," said Fred Byam, who chased the Blazer. "I was honking my horn and flashing my lights."

Kim L. Davis, 34, of Kansas City, Mo., was charged Wednesday morning with second-degree murder, robbery, child abuse and kidnapping.

Police said Davis took the vehicle when Jake's mother left it running while she went inside a sandwich shop. The man tried to shove the boy out of the car, and "probably thought he'd gotten the kid out, because then he took off," Sgt. Gregg Wilkinson said.

Mother Christy Robel opened the back door to try to get her son out, the police statement said. At that point, the driver looked over his shoulder and in the rear of the vehicle.

"As he was fleeing the area, the victim was trapped against the vehicle by the seat belt as the rear door had closed, making it impossible for him to get away from the vehicle," Skaggs said in the statement.

Prosecutor Robert Beaird would not comment Wednesday about whether the man knew the child was being dragged. Asked if the murder charge might be upgraded to a first-degree charge, he said the case would be reviewed for the grand jury to determine if the evidence rises to that level.

Beaird fought back tears when he told about talking to the child's family just before his news conference. "It's pretty hard to talk to the family," he said, stopping to regain control.

Sharon Irwin watched as the suspect drove off in the stolen car.

"I turned my head and seen something dragging along the righthand side of the car," she said. "People was honking and hollering at him to stop and he just kept going."

The chase finally was stopped when motorists in two trucks and a car surrounded the 1991 Blazer at a stoplight.

The man got out of the stolen vehicle, saw the boy's body and mumbled "something like `I didn't do that,'" said Brad Byam, one of two brothers who pursued the Blazer in their truck.

Witnesses said the motorists wrestled the man to the ground and waited for police to arrive; they also tied the man's legs with a rope.

"He was going to leave; he was going to run off," said John Rodgers. "They sat on him and held him until police got there. There was a woman trying to beat hi, and they held her off until police arrived."

Beaird said the people who stopped the vehicle are seen as heroes. "They saw something that had to be stopped and they stopped it," he said.

An 11-year-old boy from one of the pursuing vehicles later took a blanket and placed it over the victim, whose clothes had been mostly torn off.

Wednesday, a four-foot cross with flowers and a stuffed baby lamb stood at the corner where the chase ended."

When I read this article again, I couldn't stop crying. This did NOT have to happen. Though my heart goes out to this beautiful young boy's mother for her loss, another part of me wants to slap and strangle her. Unfortunately, this is not a rare occurrence. How many of you reading this has EVER left a child alone in the vehicle while running inside to pay for gas? To grab a quick bite to eat? To go to the bathroom?

Whether the vehicle is running, not running, locked up tight, not locked, keys are in the car, keys are NOT in the car, and whether you can see your child the whole time or whether you cannot...

NEVER EVER LEAVE A CHILD ALONE IN A VEHICLE!

Yea, I know, it's such a hassle when you've got a little one strapped in a car seat and all you need to do is run in and pay for gas. You're only going to be a minute, perhaps only seconds. That is all the time a criminal needs to steal your car or take your child. You might as well put a nice big bulls eye on your car if you're going to leave your child unattended. There are opportunists out there everywhere who are looking for YOU to screw up. It is happening everyday and yet people are not getting the message.

Let me tell you something. I raised four daughters by myself. They were all born within five years. I also worked full-time. Needless to say, when my girls were small I was constantly busy and exhausted. At one point I had three kids in car seats or booster seats and another in a seat belt. I had a very small car but managed to have all my girls strapped in. When it came time to pay for gas or go to the store for groceries, I took my girls inside with me. Yes, it was a hassle, yes it took more time to get things done, and yes I was often frazzled from all the strapping in, unstrapping, strapping in, unstrapping. So what. My children relied on me to make the right decisions to keep them safe and I was not going to take a chance, EVER, by saving myself a few minutes...or the hassle. I was not the perfect mom and I certainly had my flaws, but when it came to leaving my children in a vehicle unattended at a young age, I never compromised.

As I mentioned above, I also made sure my kids were strapped in with seat belts. Again, there was no compromising with this issue. I want to share an article from the Florida AP I found online. I heard about this terrible accident earlier this week and many of you may already know about it. However, this is yet another tragedy that could easily have been avoided:

"MANATEE, Fla. -- Authorities say a 12-year-old girl died after she was thrown from a vehicle on an Interstate 75 overpass and fell to a busy street below.

The Florida Highway Patrol reports that a Ford Expedition was heading south through Manatee County Wednesday morning when a tire separated and caused the crash. The girl was laying down in the back without a seat belt and was ejected from the sport utility vehicle through a side window. She landed on U.S. 301, which runs under I-75.

The girl was transported by helicopter to a St. Petersburg hospital, where she later died.

The crash is still under investigation and charges are pending."

Your children are precious beings and depend on you to do the right things to keep them safe. We can't prevent every bad act, every freak accident, every crime committed, but we can take measures to lessen the chances of something terrible happening to our children. There are simply no excuses for leaving young children unattended in vehicles. There are simply no excuses for allowing your children to ride in a vehicle without being properly restrained. You might as well let them go play in traffic if their lives aren't that important to you. While you're at it, go let them play on the roof, too.

My kids are all grown now and they automatically reach for their seat belts when they climb into a vehicle. My oldest daughter has a beautiful little girl who is under two years old and she wouldn't THINK of leaving her for one second alone in a car. By doing all you can to keep your children safe you just may be keeping your grandchildren and great-grandchildren safe, as well. Good habits have a way of rubbing off on others for a lifetime. Bad habits, unfortunately, can rub off on others just as well.

I believe anyone who refuses to safely restrain their children or who leaves them unattended in vehicles should face very stiff penalties. Perhaps watching a film of real-life accidents showing the consequences of what can happen in these situations should be the first punishment. You don't even want to know some of my other suggestions!

It's time to stop taking driving for granted and to realize that there are very real dangers out there. It's time to start putting your children first. It's time to be held accountable if you don't.

How I Beat Severe Insomnia

For most of my adult life I've suffered from both chronic depression and severe insomnia. I've pretty much been able to manage my depression once I learned more about it and why it affected me, but the insomnia continued with a vengeance. I remember many nights just crying and crying because I couldn't fall asleep and had to be up in the morning for work. I knew I'd be a zombie the next day, thinking how desperately I just wanted to get back home so I could take a long nap. My "naps" often lasted 4-5 hours. This, of course, created a vicious cycle of long nap, go to bed even later because I'm not tired, can't fall asleep, go to work early in the morning, work in zombie-like state, come home, do it all over again. I wasn't "living", I was just "existing".

So, to the store I go to pick up some over-the-counter sleep aids. On occasion it seemed they would work, but more times than not, they didn't. Often I would take the recommended dose, two pills, lie down, fidget for 2-3 hours, get up again, take another pill for good measure, lie back down, fidget some more, fall asleep. Again I would suffer another miserable day in my now-familiar zombie-like state, just waiting to get back home and into bed. Another thing about over-the-counter sleep aids is this: They make you feel groggy the next morning, totally zapped of energy. I didn't feel any better the next day when I did get sleep as I did when I didn't get sleep. I just couldn't win.

I finally remembered that many years ago I had tried melatonin for my insomnia and it had worked pretty well. As with anything else, though, their effectiveness eventually dwindled to zero. Then I had a revelation. Having dealt with depression and also talking with my mom who has counseled many people in drug court, I realized that any medicine or supplement alone was not the answer. A large percentage of those in drug court suffer from some form of mental illness. Many are on various medications for their mental illness. In addition to the medications, they are encouraged to also go to counseling or some type of therapy to help them learn to cope better with their illness. The medications alone are not enough to address their special needs.

Then it hit me. Whether I was taking a sleep aid or melatonin, I needed to incorporate some kind of "therapy" of my own to get optimum results. I decided that I did not want to continue with the over-the-counter meds for several reasons: They can be expensive, especially with long-time use, they're not recommended for long-time use, anyway, there is the chance one can become dependent on them, and they made me feel groggy in the morning and throughout the day. So, I decided to give melatonin another try with my new-found method.

First, some information about melatonin. You can find it in the vitamin isle of any drug store, Walmart, etc. Here is the best description I've found at MayoClinic.com explaining what melatonin is:

"Melatonin is a hormone produced in the brain by the pineal gland from the amino acid tryptophan. The synthesis and release of melatonin are stimulated by darkness and suppressed by light, suggesting the involvement of melatonin in circadian rhythm and regulation of diverse body functions. Levels of melatonin in the blood are highest prior to bedtime.

Synthetic melatonin supplements have been used for a variety of medical conditions, most notably for disorders related to sleep.

Melatonin possesses antioxidant activity, and many of its proposed therapeutic or preventive uses are based on this property. "

You can learn more on this site about various studies involving melatonin and many other possible benefits arising from the use of melatonin. Most studies are not definitive and require more research. There are, however, many promising studies about it's effect on cancer, sleep disorders, diabetes, and more.

I am not a doctor, so though melatonin can be purchased over-the-counter, you may want to consult your physician before starting any kind of regimen with this supplement. This is just my experience that I want to pass on to others who may find relief the way I have.

So, back to how I conquered my insomnia. First of all, I sleep with a LOUD fan every night, all year long. White noise can be very calming, and I absolutely cannot sleep without the soothing sound of a loud fan. It helps to drown out noises, and for me, absolute quiet drives me crazy. I also sleep with a DVD playing of one of my favorite shows that I've watched a million times before. I keep the sound just high enough to hear the dialogue, but not too loud to prevent me from slipping into comfort mode. I never put on an exciting movie or something I haven't seen before. My choices are usually a DVD of Gilligan's Island shows, Looney Tunes, or Abbott and Costello. Yes, I'm a nut. Somehow these shows are very comforting to me and help me to relax. Some people like to listen to music (That would kill any chance of me falling asleep!), or enjoy complete quiet. Whatever works for you, just do it.

Just before I head to bed, I take three 3 mg tablets of melatonin. My dachshund, Scooter, knows it's bedtime when I take the melatonin and excitedly heads for his kennel. Bruiser, my black lab/pekingese mix, is not so anxious to be put in his kennel for the night, so he usually tries to hide under my computer desk. Anyway, I take the melatonin, put the dogs in their kennels with their much expected, and deserved biscuit, turn off the lights, and head to bed. I do all the same rituals I do every night: Put on DVD, make sure fan is going full blast, brush my teeth, say goodnight to the sugar gliders and hedgehog, pee, then jump into bed. Then I begin the most important ritual of the night to ensure a great night's sleep.

Once I lie down and get comfy, I think of a word, or even a combination of words. It's my little game and I can play it however I want. It has to be a fairly big word or combination of words. For instance, I might think of the word countryside, or a combination like carpet fibers. The game is much easier to play if there is at least one "e" and one "s". Now, once I've chosen my word or words, I try to think of how many words are within that word. If I find my mind drifting to something I might be worrying about, I just tell myself to get back to the word. As I lie there, I find my body relaxing as the melatonin takes effect. As that is happening, I'm fully concentrating on my word game: Countryside - country, side, count, counts, court, courts, cry, cries, cried, and so on. Not only does this help me to fall asleep within 20-25 minutes on average, it also is a great way to keep my mind sharp (or so I'd like to think!).

There are very rare occasions when even the melatonin and word games don't help me fall asleep, but they are few and far between. Usually on those particular nights I have issues with restless legs which can really interfere with my ability to sleep.

I have been taking melatonin in conjunction with my little word game for about 2 years now. Prior to that I would literally lie in bed for hours and hours, unable to fall asleep. Now I fall asleep usually within 25 minutes. When I wake up in the morning, I don't have that groggy feeling that over-the-counter sleep aids always caused me. I am still grumpy, that will never change. I require that no one speak to me for at least an hour and to let me get my first sip of coffee before I am ready to engage in any type of conversation. At least I'm not a groggy grump :P.

For others, maybe the word game won't work for you, however, the point is to busy your mind with something that will help you push away the thoughts and worries that plague so many of us when all we want to do is sleep. I've read that counting sheep may not be such a good idea, but counting backwards from 300 can work well for some people. I love words, so the word game is great for me. It still amazes me to think I can fall asleep so quickly after years and years of sleepless nights, of hours and hours of tossing and turning, even crying out of total frustration. The only time I really need a nap these days is if I intentionally went to bed too late and had to get up too early. I require about nine hours sleep to function well the next day. This is another discovery I made about my sleep habits. Some people can function just fine on 4-5 hours of sleep or the recommended eight. Not this kid, nope, not me. Nine hours for me makes a world of difference in how I function the next day. That's something else you need to consider. What is your sleep requirement? Do you need more...or less?

I hope this helps others to see that maybe they just need to find something else to work in conjunction with their sleep aids, whether it be melatonin, over-the-counter sleep aids, or prescription sleep aids. We're a society who counts so much on what meds can do for us, expecting them to be the cure-all for whatever ails us. But the bottom line is this: The meds are an aid, they are not the cure. You have to change what you're doing to get the most out of whatever medications you are using. This is true with anti-depressants, sleep aids, blood pressure pills, etc. If you don't change your habits, the medication, whether it's for a mental or physical illness, will not be nearly as effective.

So, with that, I wish everyone the best sleep ever from this point on. If my way doesn't work for you, just keep trying new methods. You'll find one that works for you. Just be persistent, don't give up. I thought I was destined to suffer severe insomnia for the rest of my life, but I found what finally works for me. Maybe it'll work for you. Sweet dreams everyone!

In Memory of Bailey, Forever in My Heart

Today is both a sad day and a day of relief. I just arrived back home from having my wonderful beagle, Bailey, euthanized at the vet's office. Bailey was 15 years old and such an integral part of my family. Though she lived a long and happy life, losing her is still so very painful.
Bailey came to my family in the summer of 1999. I had a friend at the time, a police officer, who had found Bailey about a year before, walking along a highway, emaciated and in bad shape. He took her in, got her the care she needed, and gave her a home. Unfortunately for him, but fortunately for me and my daughters, my friend was transferring to a new department and could not take Bailey with him. He brought her over one day and asked if I could find her a home. I said sure...and the rest is history.
For half of my daughters' lives and longer, Bailey has been a part of this family. At the time she came to live with us, I had another dog, Oreo, who later passed away in 2005. He had been with us for nearly 11 years, so he, too, had been a big part of my girls' lives. To this day I think of Oreo. I kept his ashes as I will keep Bailey's.
Though I still have two fantastic and loving dogs, Scooter and Bruiser, there is an emptiness in my home. I felt it as soon as I walked back in the door after leaving Bailey with the clinic. Her spirit is still here, I know, but the emptiness fills the room. She will be so dearly missed.
Bailey's declining health began about two months ago when she lost the use of her back legs due to neurological problems. I decided that as long as she was otherwise doing well, I would take care of her, keep her comfortable on clean blankets, massage her, and make sure she was fed and watered. I did find that she was having back pain which was more evident whenever I tried to move her, so I requested and got pain medication for her. Over the next few weeks she seemed much better with little to no pain.
Then about three to four weeks after she lost the use of her legs, I discovered that Bailey was suffering from congestive heart failure. She had a couple of alarming attacks, struggling for breath and her tongue turned blue, almost purple. I then got her heart medication which really turned her around. She had some down days, but overall she seemed to be getting better. She remained alert, had a very good appetite, drank regularly, and was aware of what was going on around her. I worked hard to change her blankets when they were soiled and to give her her medication without fail.
I had so hoped that Bailey would do well until my daughter, Syan, came home on leave in mid August. They were especially close as Syan would often let Bailey hang out in her room and let her sleep with her. It was always so cute to watch Bailey as she watched Syan preparing to head to her room for the night. Bailey would sit there, wriggling in anticipation, until Syan said the magic words "Come on, Bailey". She would spring into action and practically skip down the hallway with Syan as they headed off to bed together.
When I told Syan over the phone that Bailey had gotten worse and I was on my way to have her put to sleep, Syan asked if she could talk to her. I put the phone to Bailey's ear. I could see her reacting to Syan's voice. That was probably the most difficult thing from this whole experience for me.

Bailey, being a beagle, also had a bark that would shatter eardrums. When she got excited and played hard, we always braced ourselves for that high pitched, ear-splitting bark. Sometimes you could see it coming. Bailey would look at you, stock still, as her mouth slowly opened, her eyes now wild, and then let out a barrage of those beagle barks we are all familiar with. Then she'd dance around the room ready for someone to play with her. We couldn't help but laugh and smile.
Bailey was one of the sweetest, most loving dogs I've ever had. I knew no one who didn't fall in love with her at first meeting. She was a gentle soul with nothing but love to give.

Bailey suddenly took a turn for the worst over the last couple of days and I knew she would only worsen. I could see the light dimming in her eyes. She could no longer keep her head up for more than a few seconds. She barely ate over the last couple of days, too, yet eagerly drank her water with my help.
Today, when I watched as Bailey slipped away, I saw in her eyes that I was doing the right thing. There was no life in them anymore, even before the life left her body. Her eyes told me she was beyond help and ready to go. That made it easier as I caressed her head and watched her go. I cried before and I cried after and I'll probably cry some more, but I'm relieved that she does not have to suffer another minute. Out of love I took care of her when she needed my help. Out of love I let her go when she could no longer live any kind of quality existence. I am so going to miss her.

I love you, Bailey, with all my heart.